Discouraged.

I have read countless amounts of blogs, article after article on this issue. Even with the knowledge that many struggle with this, I still can not shake the feeling. I am feeling discouraged. I am feeling as if my work is inadequate. I am feeling resentment toward my camera. I am hating the feelings that are filling up my mind but I can't help it. 

I have read that it is good to find inspiration and your own "voice" within. I have been trying, and I have been working on what I want my images to portray. But right now, I look at them and feel no emotion, no pride. Nothing. 

I am not enjoying the thought that my work will go nowhere. That I will be amongst many wanna be photographers that fail within the 3 year mark. I'm not even at the first year mark. Boo. 

I need to re-evaluate. I follow a good 30 photography blogs. I am feeling that I need to sift through them. Step back, and figure out if the blog makes me feel good about myself or if it makes me feel inadequate. There is one blog, her work is absolutely amazing. Breathtaking actually. & as much as I love filling my brain of photos page after page after page. It's making me look at my work thinking, "why doesn't mine look that way?" 

I stumbled upon this wonderful little quote on pinterest today and it spoke to me in more ways then one.

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As much as I hate the way my journey is unfolding right now. This is how it's supposed to be. I'm a semi-believer in destiny and a "plan". So with that semi-belief I am right where I should be. This is prepping me for something. Building me on a challenge I am supposed to overcome. I will learn something from this struggle. It's just hard to see what that lesson will be.

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Maybe it's the fact that I (let's be honest) haven't had a session in a while. Longer than I want to go without one. It's bothering me. But as another lovely quote that spoke to me on pinterest tonight as well....

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I'm hoping to grow & change my current state of mind on photography. For now, other than Fix it Friday's, the blog may be a little quiet as I'm trying to find myself. I will figure this out. 

xo. caynay.